Ponkotsu Guardian Alternative Lv 999 Hard – Review

Ponkotsu Guardian Hard Review

Ponkotsu Guardian Alternative Lv 999 Hard Review – A Hard-Type Male Masturbator by Kiteru Kiteru

  • Product: Ponkotsu Guardian Alternative Lv 999 Hard (AKA Kikimora Grimmzodia 2) 
  • Sku: ポンコツガーディアンオルタナティブ LV999 キキーモラ・グリムゾディア ツヴァイ
  • Maker: Kiteru Kiteru
  • Measurements: Dimensions – 140mm / Weight – 327g
  • Link: Shop (affiliate link)

Welcome, fappers. Today we are going to look at an onahole by Kiteru Kiteru who take their toy themes extremely seriously. 

Kiteru Kiteru is one of the smaller toymakers in Japan, but they’re gaining some good momentum recently with their products and especially their succubus series. Kiteru Kiteru products.

The Ponkotsu Guardian Alternative Lv 999 Hard (from now on referred to as Lv999 Hard because the name is way too long) is their most recent addition to their Ponkotsu series; A group of sex toys where the theme is focused on you battling various female warriors – with your meat sword. 

Ponkotsu Guardian Hard Review

Ponkotsu Guardian Alternative Lv 999 Hard

The Lv999 Hard (also known as Kikimora Grimmzodia 2 because Japanese onahole names can get complicated) is a sexy demon assassin with a crazy vagina who is your opponent. She is the harder version of the previous Kikimora onahole, which means she is supposed to provide a more intense stimulation. 

The Box

The box is quite cool with some nice bold colours and kanji. The artwork features Kikimora wearing some kind of assassin’s robe and clutching two deadly looking short swords.

If you’re a fan of box design or even a collector, this seems like it would be a nice addition. It’s a bit different to other sex toy boxes you might find outside of Kiteru Kiteru’s own range. 

There are lots of terms thrown around on the box (in Japanese) that I’m unsure about, such as “armour break” and “viper eclipse“. I guess they follow the theme of the onahole, but how they relate to the onahole, I have not a clue. 

Ponkotsu Guardian Hard Review
Comes with the toy, a small bottle of lube – and an apron!

Inside the box is a small bottle of lube that provides a little more than the average pack of lubricant you usually receive with onaholes in the price range – so that’s nice.

If this is the consequence of losing, then I’m happy to lose.

There’s also a kind of apron you can wear to protect yourself from all the intense spunking you’ll be doing, but this is intended as more of a novelty-joke type thing, I think.

Unless your ejaculation resembles an elephant squirting a gallon of water from its trunk – or you really don’t like getting your own jizz on yourself – you don’t really need it. 

The Onahole

This onahole is quite strange on the outside consisting of a dark pink skin and a bumpy texture. Not the most appealing external design, but it provides a nice grip at least. 


There’s was a slight powdery smell to the toy when I first opened the box, but it went after a short while and I didn’t notice it again after that. 

The entrance hole is just as weird. It is quite a large hole and makes a circle, but it is what lies behind it that really stands out. There is an inner chamber that consists of a triplet of nubs that certainly look like they’ll provide some good stimulation. 

Ponkotsu Guardian Hard Review
Visually striking Inner Design

A bit further inside, behind the chamber, is another collection of nubs that are a darker red colour. These nubs make up the entrance to the inner tunnel that is made from a different material to the rest of the onahole.  

Inside the main inner tunnel is a complex collection of bumps, ridges and flaps that look like they could make an inanimate object spunk.

The Lv999 Hard is all very visually appealing when you spread it open and peek inside and it definitely got my penis intrigued and ready to venture within. 

The Feel

This little warrior assassin’s crazy battle vagina feels great. 

Lubing it up is a tad troublesome because the main tunnel lies behind a chamber and all those protruding nubs, but it’s nothing too bad. 

The Lv999 Hard creates a nice vacuum effect and, in combination with the tunnel and all those nubs, it feels fantastic and provides some intense stimulation as you glide through it all. 

Ponkotsu Guardian Hard Review
Assassin Vagina

It’s also great to watch all those nubs and the dark red innards wrap around and massage your member, especially as you pull back out and they’re gripping on. I guess this is where the battle theme comes into it. Marvellous. 

I haven’t tried any of the previous Ponkotsu toys, so I can’t say how this hard version compares to the others, but I can say that this one feels damn great and is definitely more of a “hard-type” onahole.


The design of this onahole seems like it could cause problems with durability in future after some use. The way the nubs and the second material that forms the inner tunnel are aligned means that they’ll take some damage each time you penetrate. 

If the aim of this onahole is literally to physically damage it with your dick, that ain’t bad, but I think we’d all prefer a toy that lasts a while. 

The theme is alright, but I’m kind of lost with it outside of the whole battling a sexy warrior thing. Maybe there are some references and things that I’m missing due to limited Japanese abilities but it still all seems a little random. 

Aside from that though, the Lv999 Hard masturbator provides some stimulating penis sensation and also looks great visually when you’re inside. This little assassin can battle me anytime she wants.

The Ponkotsu Guardian Alternative Lv 999 Hard is available here.

Ponkotsu Guardian Alternative Lv 999 Hard Onahole


  • + Great stimulation
  • + Unique Design
  • + Box is nice


  • – The theme is ok, but a little random with those cheesy terms
  • – Durability is questionable

Rating 8/10

The links provided are affiliate links to product sellers as this helps me to meet the costs of running the blog.

About Masturbation Club Manager 91 Articles
Hi, I am the Masturbation Club Manager. This is actually an official title and i am proud of it. I like Fapping, Hentai, Ecchi in General, panty sniffing, Games, Pizza and Potatoes in every form as well as long walks on the beach and chips with bacon taste.